Starting a new job as an adult can be incredibly exciting, affirmation of moving onto the next step of your career, further opportunities and challenges, but that annoying little voice in your head can also make you doubt yourself and fears of imposter syndrome can surface. Questions nag away at you such as: Will I like my colleagues? Am I good enough? Will people respect me? Do I have the required skills? Have I made the right decision? Am I ready for this?
As adults, we do have some control over these questions and benefit from greater maturity and previous life experience to guide us, however for primary aged students, about to start secondary school, they are having to cope with change at a rapid pace, with many inaugural experiences coming to fruition at the same time. This period can be hugely exciting with increased independence and some autonomy, yet navigating so much change simultaneously can cause anxiety, worry and doubt.
The summer holidays are a wonderful opportunity to celebrate the end of primary school, to recognise your child’s achievements, look back on memories and recognise the changes which have been made since starting school in Reception. It also gives a natural break and closure between two distinct points: finishing one school and starting another.
As parents, you can provide much needed support, both emotionally and practically. Listening to your child’s hopes and fears, given affirmation and reassurance that worries are natural and part of the process whilst acknowledging these genuine feelings. Looking at the school website with your child can be helpful, watching virtual tours and starting to recognise key buildings and facilities, associating names and roles of staff, – the Head, Deputy, Head of Year 7, Form Tutor – putting a face to a name as well as finding out more about extra-curricular opportunities. What clubs would your child like to join? How can they become a school council rep? a member of the rock choir? Or represent the school in football? Reading school newsletters can also provide further information about school life and provide intrigue and curiosity.
The British Telecom advert of the 1990’s told us that ‘it’s good to talk’ and allowing students to share their hopes and fears is integral. I remember discussing so many scenarios with my parents within the ‘What if . . . ? ‘ question frame work. What do I do if the bus doesn’t come? What if I forget my PE kit? lunch money? homework? What do I do at lunchtime if I can’t see anyone I know on the playground? Who do I talk to if I have a problem at school? We discussed all of these different questions on several occasions, revisiting and refining the scenarios and my patient parents willingly went through them again, repeatedly. For a worried 11 year old, this solution based approach enabled me to feel empowered and to have inner strength, knowing I would know what to do, if any of these situations transpired.
Common worries often arise around the physical journey to school – catching a bus, coach, train or tube for the first time. Learning the route, looking at key landmarks and practising the actual journey with a parent over the summer holidays is incredibly helpful. Talking about a Plan B is also essential. If the bus doesn’t come, are there alternative buses? Can the tube journey be taken by using a different route? There may be children that you know, taking the same journey and making a plan to ‘buddy’ up can give much needed dual confidence.
One of the key differences between primary and secondary school is the enormous step up in terms of expectations with students expected to show strong organisational skills. For many, this is a huge challenge and takes time to develop the skills needed to think ahead, to take responsibility and become independent. Parents can help prepare their child by practising packing their school bag or PE kit, practising wearing their school uniform and learning to tie their own tie.
If you already have a timetable, colour coding is a really helpful strategy, instantly enabling a student to see what is needed on each day. They can also do this later on with homework, planning ahead and thinking about when they will complete it.
Most primary and prep schools implement a final term transition programme for students in Y6 covering key aspects of moving to secondary school, but over the summer holiday, as this change becomes more imminent and real, some of the worries can grow and become disproportionate.
Dukes Tutoring have created a bespoke programme to support students from Year 6 to Year 7 to bridge the gap, explore transition and feel positively about their new educational adventure.
Written by Tania Virdie, Head of Dukes Tutoring, an experienced 11+ tutor and former Deputy Head and primary teacher.
